Today I went into Rite Aid and when I was checking out the cashier asked to see the baby. (I always put her in a sling when we're out) I showed her and she said, "She is so sweet, does she have 'Downs' ?" I said yes, that she did, and it felt so odd to be asked. Generally either people already know, or they won't say a word, it seems to be like telling someone their fly is open, if you see it you don't want to say so because that person will then think you're staring at their crotch. (Which we all know isn't the case, but somehow you feel like they will think that!) I've wondered all the time if it's obvious or not that she has it, because no one ever says a peep. I guess it really isn't that important anyway, what they see first is a sweet little baby! I did cry on the way back from the store, not sure why, I am grateful she acknowledged it.
I think probably what made me upset is the fact that I'm a worry-wart, and I want people to see Gemma for who she is and not define her by her disability. OK, nap is over...the residual car ride relaxation has worn off and I've got to go get her her oatmeal!
Once I was waiting to leave my Eslea's cardiologist appointment and a nurse stopped to look at my precious. The first words she said to me where "She's Downs?" I said "She's Eslea. She does have Down Syndrome." The woman then began saying how she worked with Downs community, how they are loving, etc.. Nothing she said mattered after that. She didn't see my Es as a baby first, she saw her as "Downs" first. It hurt. It will always hurt.
ReplyDeleteNow I see it as a learning moment. I'm proud of Eslea. She is smart and beautiful and special.
People rarely ask if she has DS, I offer the information for them. I let it roll off my tongue as if I'm speaking about the weather. I want them to realize how "normal" it is really.
Your kiddos are beautiful by the way. :)
-erin
www.crazybeautifullove.com